Brief Monster Hunting Prep: Vampire Edition

 

With October now beginning in all of it's glory, there are the classic monsters that tend to emerge from their apparent hibernation over the rest of the year. In this case it's vampires. Stories of vampire-like creatures have always been around it seems. In the past, the way to prevent vampires was to generally do things to the corpse to make sure it was very, very dead. Considering the penchant people had in the past for accidently burying people alive, this seems like an efficient system. Some of the ideas they came up with were very imaginative. One hopes the corpses were truly dead to begin with.

Anyways, there are a few general rules involved with vampires and they're pretty well known, but for the fun of it I'll mention some of them anyway. 

Rule #1 

 Don't be stupid is usually a good rule. And a vampire hunting you is usually not a good idea. On the odd chance you become friends with a vampire, be prepared that they might have a bit of a crisis some time into your friendship.

Unofficial Rule #2

Common sightings of vampires tend to be in very gothic buildings. Especially any towns with hills that are right next to a town that are relatively flat otherwise.

The especially attractive variety tend to hang around highschools. The jury is still out on why they choose highschools. Some guesses as to why this phenomenon occurs are, they're creeps, they peaked in highschool and can't move on from their glory days, college is expensive...the list goes on. Although in fairness to the vampires, the highschools they pick have deceptively older than regular sixteen years olds. The attractive variety tend to date bland obsessive types that are always gorgeous but don't believe it. Vampires of the attractive and sassy personality seem to be the most popular.

Is this A Rule? #3

The adverse affect of garlic and crosses seem to be dwindling amongst the newer vampires. Classic vampires tend to still be affected.

Counting things seems to depend on the vampire.

Holy water seems to be be the same. Old vampires are still affected, younger vampires have been spotted using holy water. 

The elusive sighting

Rule #4

When hunting vampires never say this...Unless it's ironic, in which case go ahead.

Rule #5

A good playlist is key. 

Some recommendations are...

Another One Bites The Dust- Queen 

Lonely Vampire- Weathers

Creepin'- Hayley Williams 

Monsters- All Time Low

Rule #6

Wooden stakes still seem to have an affect on vampires. Good boots for vampire hunting are also helpful. 

Rule #7

Blood of course is the best bait for catching vampires. If you have a particularly stupid vampire, fake blood is fine. 

Rule #8

Most vampires still have a problem with the daylight. Some have somehow evolved past this, but pale skin still seems to be a defining feature.

I don't know why it says crossed

Rule #9 

Food and appropriate hunting drinks are important on a vampire hunt. It just makes the expedition more enjoyable. Being hangry sucks.

Rule #10

Aesthetics are key to vampire hunting. It is October after all.

Anyways, Happy Hunting. Happy October. All the things.

"Beware the autumn people... For some autumn comes early, stays late through life...For these beings fall is the ever normal season, the only weather, there be no choice beyond..." 

Ray Bradbury (Something Wicked This Way Comes)