Rain and Messy Drivel

 It's been a minute. Honestly I've been having a bit of a time and accomplishing nothing. So here's a random thing full of random half-written images, phrases, and whatnot that might be just weird pretentious nonsense that means nothing. Tis a thing. 

here because I laughed at it

(heavily inspired, somewhat borderline stolen from Skye's post 2021 Brainrot and Dodie's month-behind-the-song videos that she's doing. love both, explanations are not needed.)

Random writing mostly about random nights and mornings that have a specific vibe...turns out the things I like writing are flash images. I don't have patterns.

There's magic in the woods. The wildness with a distinct lack of glamour. It's just mud and sticks and rotting leaves. Fallen trees and tangled weeds. It's the new leaves mixed with the decay of it.

It was raining; drizzling, misty, and smelling like moss. Sweaters and steam weather in fact. It was the kind that kept one indoors. Which of course meant nothing to Ridley as she stepped outside into the morning that didn't wish to be seen. 

It was a moor morning. Wild, lonely, and lost. 

It was a searching night. A-leave-milk-in-a-bowl-by-the-door-night. It was a night for stupid superstition. 

It was a praying night. 

A sweater smelling of coconut and shea butter. 

A jacket smelling of car grease and cigarettes.

I don't know what this post is. I enjoyed making it though.

Prompts/My Entries

I did a writing contest in January and there were four rounds and I made it through the first three. It got me inspired to write again. I haven't been, but it's been giving me the push I needed to get back to it and it's helped me in other ways. Anyway, I just wanted to keep my entries here to remind myself later that I did it.

Prompt 1: (had to be six words, and based on the theme of having something to do with arguments) 

My entry:

'Sharp eyes turned quietly into indifference.'

Some song inspo that makes sense was 'Somebody Else- Flora Cash'/ The Night We Met- Lord Huron/Ophelia-Lumineers

Prompt 2: (had to be 300 words or less and written in first person. The hero and the villain are siblings and they still have dinner with their parents for the holidays. There were two other prompt options but went with this one.)

Nothing hurts more than being back-stabbed by someone you trusted. This was the sort of thing that I did to other people, it wasn't supposed to happen to someone like me. I had been violated and the only thing that might begin to remedy this situation was a strongly worded email. Thus, with careful and perfectly rational deliberation, I began.

'It has recently come to my attention that certain imbeciles left in contact with their parents don't find their consciences bothered by sharing my own personal contact information with the same aforementioned 'parents'. While levels of morality have always been a matter of personal preference in my mind, this is a level of duplicitous deceit that I would have thought beneath you. However, the damage has been done as they now clearly know my location and I am far too deep in my lease to back out now. Because of this, it is now your responsibility to make this so-called 'joyous event' as bearable as possible.'

-yours in malice

I sat with my tea, oversized socks, and my bitterness waiting for a reply. Along with all of my brother's other faults, he was disgustingly prompt at replying to emails. He was the good one. I was the impossible one. As if I wasn't the one that gave him his big breaks. Did they know how much time and effort I spent working out my heists? How much more quality time did they need?

A text showed up on my phone. He hadn't even replied to my email. Rude.

'You're a diva. Mom made three different kinds of pie. Now get your butt over here.'

I sighed, locked my apartment as I left and padded my way across the hall to their door. I would make them pay for this.

Honestly the biggest inspo for this came from me not being a particularly huge fan of the prompts for this one.

Prompt 3: (had to be 500 words or less? I think and it had to be written in third person. There were a couple prompts to choose from but I picked 'It takes a monster to destroy a monster'.)

She couldn't escape the skeletons in her closet and choose which ghost would haunt her. She was trapped, left to roam, lost and listless in the endless hallways. There were far too many rooms in this place. She was being followed, she was chasing something, she was being left behind and all she knew was that it would drive her mad. She was practically a ghost herself. Who, or what, was it that she'd been searching for? She couldn't remember. Something. There had been something. Someone. It had been a someone. She had followed someone; trailing behind him like a cat coming to steal a breath.

She had followed the ferryman down through the underworld keeping just out of sight and just when she thought she'd lost him, he turned to face her. He had seen her out of the corner of his eye when she shied a little too close.

He looked at her. Just a chit of a thing. She had startled a ferryman. 

She looked at him. The mindless pull of the passageways pooled around her ankles. Willing her forward and holding her back.

“I want to come with you.”

“You can't.”

She paused. She had followed the stillness of his silence. To hear him speak aloud broke some rule to her somehow.

“What do I have to do to stay?” She remembered why she was there. The ghost of a smoking gun stained her clothes. The Ferryman had to see it, she thought.

“Did I take someone from you?”

He didn't know.

“You've taken someone from everyone.”

“They're not coming back.”

“I wasn't expecting them to.”

“Then what do you want? A message? I don't have one.”

“I wanted to see someone come through, and then I wanted to see if I could stay. I won't leave, I'm quite finished with what I left behind.”

“I rarely keep track of who comes through. Who is it that you're waiting for?”

“I'm waiting for a monster. He's sent so many your way I thought you might recognize him.”

The pull was weighing on them while they stood there, both waiting to see if she would say anything more. She knew he couldn't stay much longer, but for a moment someone understood what monstrous act had brought her there and that’s all that mattered. 

To the ferryman, words were always a curious thing. He heard so few of them since most of them were not meant for him; he was just the ferryman. However this time, this conversation was his own and in this case, the girl who followed after monsters had asked him again if she could stay. She'd done a monstrous thing she'd said and she didn't regret it, but there could be no going back. But now time was up and she had followed him far enough. It wasn’t her time yet; he had already told her that she couldn't stay. She had killed her monster and she would have to live with the rest.  

Song inspo that makes sense was Troubleman-Electric Guest/ Churchyard-Aurora/ Look at What You Made Me Do-Taylor Swift/ Hadestown soundtrack

Artistic Meme Makeup

So I have some fake plants that I wanted to use for a Labyrinth photoshoot. They're the most glitter-coated-reminiscent-of-Labyrinth thing I've ever seen in a fake flower section. If you've ever seen Labyrinth you'll know that there is a heck ton of glitter in it. I know nothing about makeup and I don't really have supplies so I knew my idea wasn't going to be feasible but I did want to do something Labyrinth inspired.

Anyways that's how I went from wanting to recreate something even faintly resembling this

to this

It made more sense in my head. I ruined a perfectly good dollar store eyeliner pencil for this and I regret nothing.

When you sing way too aggressively to the 'What does the fox say?' bits and the 
following weird noises 

Personally I think it's a look

An Artist Appreciation Post

I keep having the moment where I realize that there's some things I love that are at my fingertips that are just things that I know are there. Which sounds like a dumb realization, but for example, there's music artists where I'm aware that they're constantly creating, playing with their sound, touring and whatever which is something that a lot of music artists do. I'm incredibly grateful that they do because there's so much music that I love that wouldn't exist without them. But then sometimes there's artists where I'm less aware of what they're doing but I have their music anyway. I've just come to know that it's right there as if it had been there forever. I've come back to it for years. Things like old Florence and the Machine songs, Lord Huron, as examples that are all still making new music, but they've been doing it longer than I've paid attention. They have so many songs that are just out there and I can turn them on whenever I want. That goes for every music artist too though. They put out a new album and now I can hoard that like the dragon I am coming back to it whenever I want. I have so many songs that obviously aren't mine, but they feel like they're mine when I listen to them. I associate the songs with characters, with people, with movies I saw... Because there was a time when it didn't exist, and then it did. And sometimes I'm more aware of the artist behind it than other times, but sometimes I forget there's actually people out there that struggled over it, rehearsed it, came up with it, just put the effort in in general. And some things we've sung for a hundred years like hymns.

And again, that goes for any artist. Paintings, movies, books, music, architecture, edit videos, photography, whatever form art could possibly ever come in. Even the people that make Christmas lights or they put the sparkles on fake plants because it's 'festive'. And it just adds to the cycle because I listen/watch/ or whatever and I get inspired to create to something. Or I just feel comforted knowing that I can play a Lord Huron song for the upteenth-million times.

So that's my long spiel to say but artists though guys... Whatever form that may come in. And sometimes I don't appreciate that I can just hoard these things in the back of my mind and they feel like mine somehow.

Like so many people have connected over things. I mean that both as a deep thing and as a ridiculous thing. It's beautiful either way.

We all of our things we come back to. Like there was a time when Howl's Moving Castle didn't exist. I don't like to think about that guys. 

So here's to artists and me forgetting that they're actually people.

I would love to know what songs you guys just take for granted that its there. It's just 'your' song(s)? And it could be for books or movies or anything really. 

Guys I Watched A Reylo Edit Again

 

The Reylo Edit 

An edit of Kylo that makes me laugh

another reylo edit

Sparklers Taste (Rather Obviously) Like Gunpowder

 

I turned 22 to Taylor Swift's 22 (even during Taylor Swift's Version Red era!) (sort of a lie, I fell asleep but played it the morning of)

Honestly I don't have anything much for this post except to time capsule a moment for myself and leave it here. I'm 22 and the new year is on my heels (my ongoing joke is that I'm a day older than every year), but for now I enjoy the moment and not spending nearly enough time touching up this post before midnight. I can always fix it or add to it later, I highly doubt anyone would be surprised.

Correct date Dec. 30, 2021

Candle broke so my sister mini blow-torched it back together

The rock hard ice cream tub my sister stuck in the (not on, but warm) oven
after my not serious and joking suggestion. Surprisingly it wasn't a completely terrible idea

   

There are f-bombs in the song. Just as a forewarning. This, the Marie Antoinette soundtrack (2006), Taylor Swift, and Lord Huron in general have sort of been by music soundtrack for the last few days

I've always wanted to try suck the helium out of a balloon to see if it actually works 

(it does! for a few seconds but it's worth it)

When my mom had asked me if I had any plans for my birthday making 

half my family high on helium wasn't exactly on the list. 

Some rather obvious advice that I didn't think of at the time, maybe don't do this after doing helium.
Edit: Turns out I forgot that Helium isn't flammable

So here's to the dumb but chaotic birthday I wanted. You're only 22 once. Why not explode like that one alcoholic Dickens character accidently. I am an idiot goblin and I had a fantastic time.

Head High Up In The Clouds

So in November I had some help dying blue streaks in my hair. I've wanted to dye my hair for years but I never have; so my all or nothing tendency is to go from nothing to literal blue. Anyways, short story shorter, the streaks faded out and I ended up dying all of my hair blue. While I've been wanting to dye it blue long before, rewatching Pacific Rim really did something to me. I wasn't going to do a post about it but I had gotten my sister to help me dye my hair and neither of us knew what we were doing so her expressions are hilarious and I (with her permission) wanted to share them because they are just too good to bury in my photo history. 

Before

Before at the back

This is about the point where my mom pointed out that my sister was
missing some of my hair at the front and she went 'oh!' and then went to fix it and
I was telling her 'oh!' in response to 'you're missing some of the hair' is not
what I want to hear when you're dying my hair. this whole process was janky and chaotic 
and I loved every second

There is a meme for this face

I don't like this photo but it was so on point to the whole process
our comb is really cheap and my hair is hard to brush through when it's wet
or whatever you'd consider dye in your hair

If this face doesn't sum up my life I don't know what does

Blue hair is so hard to have show up on camera but my sister and I did our best.

I flipping love my hair.

 I wouldn't have traded anything for the absolutely unprepared, broken clipped, slightly unhinged process that we had.